RIP Chester.

what is there left to say. really.
‘Yes, i am fine, thanks’
but you are not, I am not fine.
being fine is so unrealistic. so far from normal. ‘fine’ thats bullshit, and i know it.
‘no, really i am okay’
but you are not. i am not okay.
being okay is what exactly? not screaming out in pain, or crying in public.
‘to be honest, i felt like sending you my condolences because i knew you loved them’
but you didn’t, that thought made you laugh.

;

what is there left to say, what can i say, that would make it better.
what I can say when the person who told me I wasn’t alone fighting my demons,

Gave in too his.

I am so far from okay.
I am barely sane.
but, ‘yeah, I am fine, thanks for asking.’

 

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